Things women never want to hear on a first date

So you are on a first date, and you are just getting to know the lady of your dreams.

If you want to be invited for a second date, then there are some things you should NEVER say to her and other things you should probably just tell her when you both know each other a little better.

You definitely don't want to risk taking the magic out of the date by saying something completely inappropriate or simply telling her too much, too soon.

If you are a little nutty, or you still live at home with your mum, then whatever you do, don't disclose those details, if you want any hope of ever getting laid.

So what should you keep 'schtum' about?

'I'm living at home with mummy and daddy'

If you are still living in the basement of your parents house, do yourself a favour and keep quiet about it. Or, if you must tell her, at least make it look good and say it is because you are helping out your parents or something.

Wrongly or rightly, most women don't want to hear that the guy they are dating is still under his mother's watchful eye. It just won't score you any 'cool' points. 

Of course, in some cultures it is considered normal or even noble for a man to live at home with mum and dad, but in Britain, not so much.

So whatever you do, try to avoid disclosing this, unless you want her to draw an imaginary 'loser' sign across your head in her mind.

Oh and another thing, unless you're 17, get an apartment. Seriously. 

'I don't have a job'

This line tends to make most women lose their mojo. You don't want her to start thinking that she may potentially have another hungry mouth to feed.

Telling her that you're out of work, or out of money, is never really going to do you any favours, unless there is a compelling reason why, such as disability or family commitments for example.

As harsh and judgemental as it may seem, most ladies do not want to date a guy that is stone cold broke.

So get out those job application forms and keep quiet about the financial situation. It is nobody else's business but your own anyway.

'I'm not over my ex'

Get over it. The lady you are dating is simply not interested in hearing you declare your untold love for some other woman, who is probably sleeping with her new, bodybuilder partner as we speak.

If you still want to get your own back on your ex, or you have 'unfinished business', then now may not be a great time to go fishing for a replacement.

In any case, talking about the ex will not score you any brownie points on your first date. 

'I'm still mates with my ex'

That's wonderful actually. The only problem is your new date may start to wonder if she is just there to keep the bed warm while you rekindle your romance with an old flame.

So do yourself a favour and keep this friendship under wraps.

'Let's go Dutch on the bill'

Except she's thinking 'no let's not'. If you don't want to come across as a cheap skate, then be a gentleman and offer to pay the bill, at least for the first meal.

I know, I know, it's a pain up the ass, and what happened to feminism and equality right? Wrong. If you don't want her to ditch you for the more generous of the male species, then swallow your pride and at least offer something.

Otherwise, you'll make her think that she wasn't worth the investment. You can always debate the politics of it later, after she's already jumped into bed with you, but for the time being, try to avoid arguing over that extra £9.99 meal.

'I'm depressed'

Great, now so is she. Oh and no sex for you. If you've been feeling a little under the weather lately, tell your counsellor or psychologist, not your date. Especially if you want another.

'I'm a stud'

The problem is most guys will only talk about how many people they have slept with if they are actually asked.

The other problem is, there is literally no right answer to the question 'how many partners have you been with before?'

If you say you have slept with too many, she may think you're a jerk and if you tell her you have not slept with many women, you look like a loser.

To be honest, it is nobody else's business but your own, so basically just lie. Tell her you have had a few sexual relationships in the past but they were not meaningful.

Oh and try not to snigger while you say it.

'I play the XBox'

Video games are awesome aren't they? For men that is. Unless she is an avid gamer, I'd suggest leaving talk about your gaming habits on the backseat.

'I'm a cannabis addict'

You should only mention this if you want to send her running. Whether you like a little weed, or you are enamoured with slightly stronger subjects, being a junkie is never a great look on a first date.