Ten online dating questions answered – part two

Last time round – in an article you can find here – we dealt with questions like 'how long will it take me to find someone?' and 'what if I don't know what to say on my profile?'.

This time, we're going to be giving answers on five more queries linked to the online dating world – perfect for beginners looking for information and ideas on this topic!

Is it okay to use smileys in my messages?

Yes! Not everyone uses them, but people tend to communicate in their own style online, and if your style includes little faces like 😀 and 🙂 this can play a big role in conversation.

Sometimes throwing in too many symbols of this sort can seem a bit OTT though, so if you're adding a face after every line, consider cutting one or two, to emphasise the ones that remain. 🙂

How long should I wait to ask if someone wants to go on a date?

You'll find that when you first start online dating you'll be a little slower to dive into asking people out than you might be when you've become used to the process.

However, in the end it's best to base the answer to this question on whether you feel the time is right to take something into the real world.

As a rule of thumb, if you've been messaging a lot for several days, it might well be worth trying for a date. And some people will ask others out very early in a conversation, if they feel there's a spark there.

However, always be sure to only meet people in the real world if you feel you're safe doing so. And follow the usual safety tips – like making the meet in a busy, public place.

How can I make the person I'm messaging like me?

Dating isn't a case of 'winning someone round' in our experience. The more you are simply yourself in a conversation, the more chance there is that, if the other person seems interested, the thing that's caught their attention is the real you.

That's the sort of scenario that can lead to a happy relationship. If you're struggling to project an impression that isn't quite you – perhaps because this seems more attractive to you – you will likely find that it's less likely to lead to something meaningful.

How can I stop myself feeling nervous pre-date?

Don't be nervous! Well, in fact you probably will feel a little apprehensive – meeting new people does that to all of us to some extent.

You will probably feel less nervous if you think the person you're going to meet is genuinely nice and understanding – so start by arranging dates with the right people.

One thing that can help is to pick an environment you know for the date. This way you'll get the boost of feeling at home when you go to meet the new person.

Also, tell yourself that you don't have to show every wonderful feature you have in a single date. This meeting is more about seeing whether things look promising. If there's potential there, there's also going to be more time to impress your date in future.

Do I have to talk to someone if I don't want to?

Of course not. It's really up to you whether you reply to a message or don't. Some people prefer a direct 'I don't think I'm interested' from someone they've messaged who doesn't want to talk. Others would actually rather you stay quiet. But everyone who uses online dating sites knows that sometimes they'll be barking up the wrong tree, it's all part of the process.