Cutting down on pre-date stress

Going on a date is almost always a fun way to get to know someone. But the fact is that it can also be somewhat stressful and nerve wracking – perhaps especially if the person you're meeting is someone you haven't met before, but only communicated with online.

Never fear though, because we've come up with five wonderful areas of pre-date advice that will help you get from arranging a date to meeting that potential new match smoothly!

Clothes

A key stressor pre-date can be wondering how to present yourself. But the most important advice on this count is not to worry too much. You don't want to spend so long pulling together a spectacular one-off outfit that you end up looking nothing like you usually do day-to-day. After all, the main thing your outfit needs to do really is convey who you are to your date.

That said, one of the other main things to keep in mind when it comes to date wear is the question of what you're going to be doing. An outfit for an evening meal might be a little different to what you'd don for the cinema, for example.

Looking smart is, of course, a priority for most of us when we head to meet a date. But don't fret about it, or you won't enjoy the process of getting ready and anticipating the meeting.

Think what you'd wear, and how you'd present yourself, if you were seeing a good friend and wanted to look nice for them. Don't give yourself ages and ages to get ready, or you might end up becoming too caught up in the tiny details of how you look.

Location and time

Where to go on a date can be a cause of stress, especially if neither one of a pair wants to pick a location. It's always advised to meet somewhere public when going on a date with a stranger or relative stranger.

If you have strong feelings about a place you like, and feel comfortable in, don't be afraid to suggest this, as it will likely help you feel relaxed, while also showing your date the kind of place you like to spend time, and letting them get a little extra insight into who you are.

On the other hand, don't worry about trying somewhere new, like a bar, pub or coffee shop suggested by your date. This might be more nerve wracking, but it could also give you a new experience, and a bit of an adventure!

If you're not quite sure where somewhere is, always check out the location well in advance on a map, so you're not worrying half an hour before the date that you might end up being late trying to find your meeting spot! And if somewhere is very inconvenient for you to get to, don't be afraid to raise this with your date and rearrange.

When it comes to the timing of a date, make sure you choose a moment that's comfortable and easy for both of you. Meeting somewhere relatively near where you work after you're done for the day can sometimes fit in nicely and make the date feel like a casual extension to the day, for example.

Don't over-face yourself

If someone suggests a date that involves drinks, followed by dinner and then a film, and this makes you feel a little overfaced, don't be afraid to gently say so! Before you've met in person, it can sometimes be hard to tell whether there will be any chemistry there or not, and it's probably good to leave your date waiting more when your meeting's over.

By arranging too much all at once, you might be putting too much pressure on one date. So start with something very casual, like a drink in a quiet bar, and if things go really well, you can always turn it into a meal out if you fancy! That way, the meal will be a spontaneous sign that things are going well – and a boost for you both – rather than something you feel you have to do because it was pre-planned.

Keep in touch

After you've arrange to meet and before you actually go for a drink, coffee or whatever it may be, it's a good idea to maintain contact and not let things cool off too much before the meeting. Just sending a message or two each day is probably more than enough, but will just keep things friendly as you anticipate the meeting.

Of course it could be that you're messageing your date-to-be all the time because you're getting on really well, and if so – great! That said, don't worry if someone isn't constantly in touch – after all, people are sometimes very busy. Maybe they're saving the conversation for when they can see you face to face!

Talk

Where possible, and when you're sure it's safe, it can be useful to talk to someone using voice or video calling before you meet, so that you get a sense of what they're like to have a conversation using your vocal chords, rather than a keyboard! Simply getting in touch this way to arrange the details of a date can be a useful way to check whether it's likely you'll have any chemistry when you meet.

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