Avoiding the pitfalls of long distance

One interesting thing about online dating is that it makes it easy to get in touch – and perhaps eventually form relationships with – people who actually live quite far away from you.

Of course, we may all ideally want to find true love in someone who's in the same town or city as us – and it's true that forging a relationship with someone who lives a convenient distance away can be much, much easier than trying something long distance, for a number of reasons.

But at the end of the day, you could well find that the person who you fall for is actually someone who you're going to have to do the long distance thing with.

Here are some things it can be good to think about when it comes to this type of relationship. Note that we're thinking of long-distance relationships within the UK here. If your partner is serving overseas, you should seek more specialist advice.

Keep in touch

With long distance, it can be much more important to keep in touch regularly via phone or video chatting online, once a relationship has become serious.

This is because you'll likely see less of each other in real life, and will want to make sure you're still in touch and keeping each other updated about your lives.

Though modern tech makes communicating from a distance much simpler than it used to be in the days when letters and telegrams were your only option, it does have its drawbacks, and doesn't always live up to a real-life date.

Be patient with the fact that a conversation on the phone or via video isn't always as easy as one in real life. And remember to be flexible. Even if you want to talk every day, it's best not to let this routine get in the way of making the most of life where you live.

Make plans

You'll feel less sad about not being near the person you're with if you keep having plans for when you'll see them next. And it may be a good idea to talk early on about what your long term plans will be. Will you ever live in the same place, for example? If there's hope on the horizon, it may be easier to live with the long-distance situation.

Enjoy the perks

One good thing about doing long distance is that the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' does have an element of truth to it. It can be very exhilarating to see someone you love after a long period apart, and you'll always be sure to make the most of the time you do have together by doing special things.

Talk about it

Friends and family will be able to help you, giving you someone to chat to about your other half when they're far away. Make sure you use them for advice, and as a place to turn when you're feeling lonely because the person you love isn't nearby.

Be practical

If you end up with someone a long journey away, think about what the most practical ways to get to them are. It might be a good idea to look out for cheap train and bus tickets that might mean you can see them that bit more often, for example. Keep track of each other's diaries, so that you're both aware of when the best times to meet up are.

Be honest 

It's also a good idea to tell your other half about how you're feeling about the long-distance situation. If you both know where each other stands, it's less likely things will go wrong unexpectedly. Being open in general is perhaps even more important than in a 'short-distance' relationship because, when you're seeing less of each other, you may be less likely to pick up on signals that one of you is upset about something unless they're made very clear.