What people miss most when they leave the forces

Leaving the forces can be difficult for people. It is a job like no other and giving it up can cause veterans to feel down. Whether you're getting ready to leave the forces or you know someone who has or is about to take that step, it is worth remembering that an adjustment period is needed.

While there are some things you won't be able to replace, there are others that you can compensate for. This will help fill the gap a little bit, make the adjustment easier and help keep your mood up. 

Here are some of things ex-servicemen and woman miss most and how to combat the loss:

Camaraderie

You've probably built up a close friendship with those you trained with and got deployed alongside. This camaraderie is unlike anything other coworkers have – after all, you will have lived, fought and spent free time with these guys – so it is hard to replicate.

They know exactly what you've been through, have likely made your life a living hell for you at some point and have been battle-hardened alongside you. It's not possible to get that same bond when working in IT.

While you may be surrounded by people when you get home, you'll probably still miss this camaraderie. However, you shouldn't let this get you down. Rather than comparing friendships and people to your buddies in the forces, appreciate those you have around you for who they are. This way you'll be able to build new relationships while still having your old army pals to call on.

Talking openly to people

With friendships like you get in the forces, the chances are you knew you could talk about anything. You may have ended up getting ribbed a bit for it, but at the end of the day, there was someone you could talk to about what was on your mind. This means it can be hard to go back home and deal with the changes to your life when you can't talk about them so candidly. 

You may find it tempting just not to talk and pretend like everything is fine, but this is the worst thing to do.

So your friends aren't there to take the mick and understand all the random phrases you all thought up to describe things, but this doesn't mean you don't have people to talk to. In fact, not talking to people can make the transition worse. Talk to those around you about what's going on, even if they won't understand it all.

If you feel like you need someone who gets the forces lingo and attitude, catch up with army buddies or see if there are any other veterans in your area. This will help you get through things and likely help you enjoy some of the humour you may have been missing.

The adrenaline

Let's be honest, after being in the forces, you now thrive on adrenaline. This means it can be something you miss when you leave, after all, making your morning coffee, doing household chores and being stuck in traffic aren't exactly thrill-seeking activities.

Not only did you get to play with guns and explosives, you also got paid to do so, meaning being in the army was a pretty awesome job. It's unlikely you're going to find another form of employment that gave you such a rush or includes an element of danger – not unless you take up a position as a shark baiter or alligator wrestler.

The key is to find a hobby or activity that gets your heart racing. You're not going to get the same experiences, but you can certainly enjoy an adrenaline-fuelled day every now and then. Just make sure you're safe about it!

Life really won't be the same, but leaving the forces isn't the end of it. Why not use our chat room or forum to find other veterans?